“Look deeper through the telescope
and do not be afraid when the stars
collide towards the darkness,
because sometimes the most beautiful
things begin in chaos.”
- Robert M. Drake
This is my first post circa 2007:
The First Thirteen
No introduction really. I just started. I knew that if I let my insecurities and ignorance of how this whole blog thing worked, I would never take that first step; I would never have put my thoughts out there to be read, judged or commented on!
8 years, on and off.
1024 published comments.
Those numbers don't really mean much to anyone else. Have I been a successful blogger? I never started this blog for anyone other than myself. In the beginning I shared my posts with family and for a short time locked down my blog to only invited readers, but I enjoyed this online forum, the ability to reach out to people with similar interests, to be edified and help build a community, a tribe of my own that wasn't limited by proximity, rank or gender.
If you look up the definition of "mayhem" you will find all sorts of unsavory words - maim, violence, injury, destructive, havoc...I chose to take some creative license and only use part of those definitions:
...a state of disorder or chaos...
If you have ever raised four children (ages 4, 7, 10 & 16), while living overseas, married to your military man who was rarely home, living in a village where most of the people didn't speak your language and you definitely didn't speak their's (unless you count charades as a language skill!),
you might have experienced more than a little disorder in your life...
What I wanted was to make sense of the crazy chaos, to organize the lovely mess that was my life. When you don't have your partner to buffer the troubles that come your way, you deal. You stay up late, you skip the shower...you put self at the end of the day. At the end of the day, I would tuck in the little ones and then I would make something. Anything. Cake, cookies, bread, scrapbook pages, paintings, home decor, a blog post...anything to feel that I had done more than manage crisis, deflect destruction, and minimize collateral damage caused by the whirlwind that was my family.
Although my sharing has been mostly about mommyhood, crafting and food, Making Mayhem came to be out of the darkness of disorder in 2007 and helped to bring light into my heart at a time when I needed to be able to connect with others.
A reluctant revolution has taken place in my life over this past year. It's time to embrace this mayhem that is my story.
Talk with you soon.